Litlove tagged me on this meme a while back and I will admit that I have been dragging my feet just a bit for fear that my answers will not be as thoughtful as others’. Isn’t that silly? This is not a competition, just a chance to put some honest thoughts out there. So here goes
How do you view your role as a parent? What are you there to do?
I feel my role is to provide them with a safe, secure environment in which to explore and develop their interests and talents. I am also obliged to provide them with a good role model of someone who takes care of herself and makes some kind of a contribution to the larger world. And of course, to love them absolutely unconditionally, no matter what.
In your social circle, are mothers expected to work or are they encouraged to stay home with the child?
I can’t really say — I know a variety of mothers who have made a variety of choices. As my kids get older, more and more of the moms I know at this point work outside of the home in some capacity, whether part-time or full-time. When my children were younger, this wasn’t necessarily the case.
How do you feel about your child’s education? What’s good about it, and what do you wish could be done differently?
I feel quite blessed to have found a school that challenges and nurtures my children and encourages them to excel and to take risks in their learning. I am so pleased that their school asks the students to put their learning in a larger context and to think about how they can make a contribution to society as a whole right now. My only regret is that I had to take them to private school to do that. I wish the kind of education my kids are getting was an option for all children.
How do you share the childcare with your partner (if it is shared)? Do you tend towards different activities or different approaches to parenting?
My husband and I share the day-to-day duties and pretty much always have. I think we learned long ago that for the sake of happiness and harmony, it is better not to try to compare and measure who does what, exactly, but to realize that we are on the same team and have the same goals for raising our kids. Our approaches are pretty similar although he is more inclined to do things like play Guitar Hero with the kids, and I am more likely to take them to the bookstore to hang out. We tend to swap the good cop/bad cops roles as each of us have our own trigger issues that inspire us to stern lecturing.
What are the most important virtues to instill in a child?
Kindness. Empathy. Responsibility. Independence. Curiosity.
What’s the relationship like between mothers at the park and the school gate? Would someone you didn’t know help you out in a stressful moment?
The mothers at school are a friendly bunch and I wouldn’t hesitate to ask for help if I needed it.
What do you fear most for your child?
Nuclear holocaust, complete societal collapse, fun stuff like that!
How do you discipline your child and what are the errors you would put most effort into correcting?
We are pretty lucky in that our kids are easygoing and don’t require much discipline beyond logical consequences when they go astray. I tend to put the most effort into correcting them when their behavior reflects disrespect towards others (arguing, taking others’ work for granted, not sharing, etc.)
Do you think the life of a child has changed much since you were young?
That is hard for me to say, since I am raising my children in such a different environment than the one I was raised in. I grew up in a small, rural, multiethnic town and they are living in an affluent, fairly homogenous suburb. Their responsibilities for school are certainly more demanding than mine ever were, and increased access to technologies puts a different spin on things, but I think the essence of childhood remains the same. They spend their free time reading, creating, thinking, playing with friends, etc. much as I did.
What’s the best compliment your child could pay you for your parenting skills?
That they always knew how much they were loved.
June 2, 2008 at 3:27 pm
it is not silly because as i read your answers i thought the same thing. or maybe it is silly and we are both silly
wonderful answer, though. very thoughtful and well said.
June 3, 2008 at 1:45 am
And you produced such lovely answers! That’s one of the things I find so very touching about all my research on mothers – they try SO hard, and they permit themselves so few congratulations. I know exactly what you mean about private schools. We had to do the same thing with our son, and it’s wonderful and yet also a little uncomfortable at times. And I particularly liked your answer to the first question. it seemed just right.
June 3, 2008 at 4:37 am
Your answers are very thoughtful. The reason I haven’t done this meme is that, after 2.5 years, I still feel as if I’m in daily survival mode. I haven’t reflected at all on the big parenting picture – everyone seems to be so much more together than me, heh! I like your last answer so much, I hope Kiko can pay me that compliment one day too.
June 3, 2008 at 6:48 am
This is a great meme, and really thoughtful answers, too. None of our friends have children, and my family lives in a different hemisphere than I do, so it’s nice to hear what some other moms are thinking & feeling.
June 3, 2008 at 7:27 am
Cranky, thank you! You are so sweet!
Litlove, I’m glad it all made sense to you. You’re right, we definitely do not congratulate ourselves.
Helen, when my kids were Kiko’s age I was definitely in daily survival mode and couldn’t have begun to reflect on my philosophy. Just getting through the day was my goal!!
Shellyfish, it is so hard when you’re isolated as a mom. I hope you can find some kindred souls to hang out with and share your experiences.
June 3, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Great Blog!