But where is home? Here, with my husband or children, or in Arizona, with my mom and dad? In my heart, it’s here, of course, but the pull of “home” with my parents is so strong right now. There is a consolation in their presence, and in the presence of so many people in the community who knew me when I was growing up and who love my family. It was very, very hard to leave this time, especially since Dad is on the decline and I just don’t know if he’ll be there when I’m back in a few weeks.
When I was 18, I turned around and left that town without so much as a backward glance, on to what I supposed were bigger and better things. This time I pointed my car in the right direction on the highway, but my heartstrings kept pulling back, even as I tried to drown out their twang with music played at top volume. (Shakira’s “Whenever, Wherever” had me singing along and channeling my inner vamp, but then the Beatles’ “In My Life” — Dad’s favorite song — reduce me to a blubbering heap).
My wonderful husband and children greeted me at the airport with balloons and flowers and hugs and kisses. I was so thrilled to see them. It is so good to be here. If only I could be in two places at once.
February 25, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I am so sorry that you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
February 25, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Lately, I’ve been feeling torn apart, I think probably because I bought my flat and feel that now I’ve “settled” here in London while my parents are getting older far away in Spain.
It’s a tough one
February 25, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Dear YogaMum, you are so much on my mind these days.
Prayers and love.
February 25, 2008 at 3:19 pm
It’s so hard to be torn. I can completely understand your need to be in two places at once. Lots of love to you from me, dear YogaMum.
February 25, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Hugs.
Your folks are a ways away from Phoenix, if I recall. If you are in the metro area during a visit and want some yoga time, let me know and I’ll try to hook us up with a class or some morning practice.
February 25, 2008 at 5:26 pm
It is wonderful that you have a loving family to support you. It sounds like you had a beautiful home coming. take care
February 25, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Oh yes, that home town pull can be so strong. Some people choose never to leave. Its amazing how attached we can get, especially when family is involved.
*hugs* “In My Life” turns me into a blubbering mess too…
February 25, 2008 at 6:59 pm
I feel the same pull to my hometown, I think because I don’t love the town I live in now. My parents visited this weekend and I cried all day Sunday when they left.
It’s so hard to watch your parents growing older. My thoughts are with you, whether in AZ or home.
February 26, 2008 at 12:38 am
I hope you manage to settle back in. It must also be difficult to give the children their normal routine, when you thoughts and heart are back with your parents. All the best. Take dear care of yourself.
February 27, 2008 at 12:23 am
I know that feeling of not being sure where the real “home” is and my heart goes out to you. I have a framed little piece of calligraphy of the lyrics to “In My Life” that my best friend since the 8th grade gave to me a long time ago. Years later, she gave me another one because I guess she forgot she’d already sent me one. That song gets me like almost no other song can.