A commenter on my post “Facing the Facts” yesterday said that she is learning yoga from books and tapes but that she is “still somewhat self conscious as I’m a bit ’round’ and embarrassed to go to a class with so many thin and very flexible people.”

I’ve been there. In fact, I still am there. When I walked into my first yoga class, I was significantly overweight — about 55 pounds or so. Today I can still count on often being the heaviest yogini in the room as I have about 20-25 pounds left to lose. I’m also tall and I come from good Kansas farming stock, so I know I will never be a teeny yogini. Muscular and powerful, yes. Skinny and lithe, no. My people lift bales of hay, stick their arms into birthing cows, and can mountains of tomatoes. My grandma was plump and round, but under the soft layer she had biceps hard as rocks. I once saw her chop the head off a bullsnake with a single blow of her shovel.

I know how it is to feel like you’re the big lumbering brute in the room, but I can guarantee that once you get your gumption up to go to a class, it will be worth it. At least it was for me. I feel nothing but admiration and compassion for the heavier folks who keep showing up. I know what it takes to come to class when you’re feeling, well, big and clumsy and stiff.

It may take a while to build enough confidence to go to a class and while you’re in that confidence-building stage, studying yoga through books and tapes and tapes can be very helpful. When you’re ready, I think you’ll find that most yoga teachers are very welcoming and compassionate souls and that there are people of all shapes and sizes in most yoga classes. If you feel uncomfortable or criticized, vote with your feet and find another class or teacher.

I feel sad when I hear people say that they feel they have to be A. thinner, B. more flexible, or C. able to do X-Asana before attending a yoga class. I’ve said it before on this blog, but yoga is for everybody! The only prerequisite is a willingness to learn and an open mind (not open hips!). This idea that you have to be somehow “better” before you go to a yoga class is just another one of those self-defeating attitudes, a variation on that self-critical radio station in your head (the writer Anne Lamott calls it “KFKD” – you can figure out what FKD stands for!). I can honestly say that the only criticism I have ever felt in a yoga class has come directly from good ol’ me. I’m sure my teachers must have thought, while trying to help me bind in Marichyasana C, “If she would just lose a few pounds and shrink the belly, she’d be able to do this pose herself.” All of them have had the grace not to say that to me!

Okay, so you’re ready to venture out to a class. Maybe you’re not at your ideal weight yet, but you’re ready. Now, what do you wear? When I first started yoga, I wore baggy t-shirts over loose exercise pants. I would tuck the front hem of the t-shirt into my waistband so as not to blind everyone by flashing my lily-white belly during Downward Dog. Don’t worry about being a fashionista, just be comfortable. A slightly fitted t-shirt is less cumbersome than a huge baggy one. Now I wear a yoga camisole top that doesn’t ride up and a pair of yoga pants (cropped pants or bootcut long pants). The only disadvantage to this outfit is that when I’m in Shoulderstand, I’m confronted with my lovely belly rolls, a reminder of how far I have yet to go.

The thing is, I don’t think anyone is ever completely satisfied with her body. I betcha that Miss Teeny Yogini up there in the front row is thinking about the three pounds she gained over vacation, or how she’s up to a size 4 instead of a 2! I know! It’s crazy! (If I ever fit into a size 4, I will immediately keel over dead from shock.) But we all have our body image problems, and I’m pretty sure that all of those thin, flexible folks are far too busy thinking about their own issues to give more than a passing thought to the circumference of your thighs. They are more preoccupied with binding their wrists in Marichyasana D than noticing that you couldn’t get your palms flat on the floor in a standing forward bend. As my grandpa used to say, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how little they did.”

When you are ready, I hope you will venture out there to the yoga studio. The group energy you get from a class can be invigorating, and there are lots of great teachers out there who will inspire you to take your practice further. Will yoga help you lose weight? There is a lot of debate on that in the yoga world. In my own experience, yes, the combination of a vigorous ashtanga practice and the positive changes it has inspired in my life has helped me lose weight. As I’ve continued to practice, I’ve found that I am more aware of how certain foods make me feel energized and healthy, and how others make me feel sluggish. I’ve found that certain foods, like meat or alcohol, just don’t appeal to me as much as they used to. I know that practicing ashtanga ramps up my metabolism and energy levels. The combination of these factors has led me to lose about 30 pounds in the past several years; it’s been a slow process, but in my experience, gradual change sticks!

So am I glad I ignored that little voice in my head telling me I was too chubby and uncoordinated to go to a yoga class? You bet I am. Guess what? No matter you weigh, no matter how flexible you are, there will always be someone out there who is thinner, more flexible, and possibly even nicer and more enlightened than you. Why should those people have all the fun?