‘Fess Up Friday #2 & Tell Yogamum What to Write

All right, my dear readers, I am offering you the opportunity to tell me what to do! But before I let you do that, I am dutifully checking in with my LIterate Kitten-inspired writing accountability report for the week. Let’s see, getting this one out of the way as soon as possible: DID NOT work on my novel. However, I did accomplish a few other writing-related tasks.

• I wrote something for my blog every day.
• I finished reading Three Cups of Tea, and began A Free Life by Ha Jin. Also began reading Jhumpa Lahiri’s new collection of short stories, Unaccustomed Earth. The first story in the collection brought me to tears, and I will have to write more about this book after I’ve finished reading it.
• Did several writing exercises.
• Met with a couple of my writer friends to chat over coffee and share our writing exercises.
• Thought about snakes, became obsessed with reading about snake symbology, working on a piece about my snake experiences.

So, not too bad, all in all. And now, here’s your chance. Below, I’ve posted four story beginnings that I wrote the other day in response to this exercise:

Today’s exercise is this: in five minutes, write as many beginnings as you can that have to do with food. Write one, two, eleven, whatever you can do. Again, by a “beginning” I mean anything from a sentence fragment to three full sentences, but no more than that per beginning.

For our next meeting, my writer friends and I are going to finish something we’ve started.  I figure, why not just finish one of the stories that I wrote beginning lines for.  And why not let you all vote on which one I should finish?  So, below are my four beginnings.  Leave a comment saying which one you’d like me to develop into a story, and the one that gets the most votes wins!  After I finish the story, I’ll post it on my blog, no matter how bad it is! Yes, I am offering to share my bad writing with you!

Okay, here are the choices:

1. Even with the Feds hot on his tail, Antonio always made it a point to stop in at Maude’s for a slice of cherry pie.

2. Why Ricky decided we needed to hunt and eat a squirrel, I’ll never know. But that was when all the trouble started.

3. How many love affairs have begun with strawberries and champagne, and ended with tuna scraped out of a can, while standing over the kitchen sink?

4. Some moms are all love and chocolate cake and warm noodle casseroles. Mine was more half-rotten apples and stale saltine crackers.

 

Morning Musings

I am now completely and totally obsessed with my snake sighting the other day, and I have a post brewing in my head about What It All Means, a post that connects snakes in my backyard, samskaras, yoga, and my internal journey.  Doesn’t that sound profound?  Unfortunately you are going to have to wait until tomorrow (I hope), as I only have a few minutes to write while I sit here at Panera, using the free wi-fi and drinking a mocha before I head off to teach Spanish to the kiddos.

Teaching Spanish is probably the most fun job I’ve ever had.  Sure, it’s tiring to deal with 100+ kids ages 4-14 all in one day but it’s also great to be around all that kid energy.  The little ones give me hugs and call me Mrs. Señora and demand to know the word for “poop” in Spanish.  A couple of the eighth graders blow me away with their enthusiasm and ambition; they are trying to get as far as they can in the textbook so they can be placed into second-year Spanish when they head off to high school next year.  It also helps that my co-teacher is fantastic to work with and lets me do a lot of the fun stuff!

The funny thing is, this is not the sort of job I would ever have sought out.  First of all, I would have thought I wasn’t qualified; I don’t have an teaching certificate (FreckleBoy: “MOM! Are you teaching without a LICENSE???”) or a degree in Spanish.  Second of all, the one thing I always swore I would never, ever do, was teach kids under the age of 18.  But when the opportunity arose and I was asked to do this job, what came into my mind was this:  “When you are offered the opportunity to do something you love, something that is in line with some of your strongest values, and to do it with people you respect, the only thing to say is YES.”

And on that note, I’m off to school!

 

Upon Further Reflection

I have decided that it was indeed pretty cool to see snakes mating in my yard.  I suppose it is a fairly rare sight and now that I’ve recovered from my abject terror, I can see the beauty of it.  And I know these snakes are beneficial, keeping the rodent population under control.

However, I think once was enough and I am proposing this deal with the snakes:  I won’t go out and mate in their habitat, if they don’t come and mate in mine.

Also, it is a rather weird coincidence that since my dad died about five weeks ago, my mom and I have both seen snakes in our backyards for the first time ever.  Anyone have any theories about that?

 

Three Reasons I Am Never Going Into My Backyard Again

Yes, that is the sight that greeted me when I looked out my bedroom window yesterday afternoon. Three humongous snakes, all coiled up and hissing (bonus points if you name the song I stole that last phrase from). These dudes were at least three feet long, fat and brown and yellow. They seemed to be fighting amongst themselves (or mating, I have no idea!) and they were hissing and trying to bite each other. I did NOT tell the kids about them because I didn’t want them to freak out, but I will give them a generic “wildlife you may encounter in the backyard” talk at some point.

Two of the snakes eventually detangled themselves and slithered off into the open space that borders our backyard. The one on the right hung out in the yard for a while until I called my neighbor to come scare it away (my husband was at work, lucky guy). I’m pretty brave, but not when it comes to snakes. My neighbor chased the snake with a broom and it totally went into defensive mode, posing in a striking position. But it finally decided to head on off to find its compañeros and maybe gang up on some mice or something.

My neighbor suggested I let my dog out into the yard to scare away the snakes. I said, “You’ve seen my dog, right?”

Does that look like a dog that snakes would fear? I don’t think so.

I wish I could learn to appreciate snakes, but I can’t. I just can’t! I wish they would stay out in nature where they belong. But then, when nature is separated from your backyard by only a wrought-iron fence, you can’t expect the wildlife to respect your boundaries.

 

Words I Hope Never to Hear Myself Say Again

From my teen years:

I’ll have another Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler.

But why don’t you want to be my boyfriend?

God, Mom, you’re so stupid.

I lost ten pounds eating only sunflower seeds and drinking Diet Pepsi.

From my 20’s:

Um, the head manager wanted me to tell you that you have a body odor problem and I’m really sorry but it seems that customers are noticing so could you take care of that, um, okay, sorry?

When we deconstruct the paradigm vis-a-vis our own constructed gender identities, we can see that Derrida’s notions are indeed correct.

Of course I’ll proofread your thesis/screenplay/surrealistic novel.

From my 30’s:

The line turned blue.

I’ll be right there to wipe your butt!

Please don’t eat the dog food.

I don’t need eight hours of sleep, really.

From my 40’s: (I’m less than a year into this decade so I can’t think of too many)

Sure, I can drive on three field trips this week.

That one, right there! Can’t you see it? It’s GREY!!!

What do you hope never to hear yourself say again?

 

Weekends, Notebooks and Getting Organized

I remember writing at one time that I don’t pay much attention to my blog stats.  I don’t have any of those fancy reader-tracker thingies and I don’t look for people’s IP addresses.  But I will admit that I do look at my page views and I get really sad on the weekends when they go down; of course everyone’s numbers go down on the weekends, because people are out having a life.  (I hope!)

Our weekend featured a lovely dinner out for me and my husband, soccer, fencing, guitar, intestinal distress from dinner out (I must have eaten a bad mussel), a Rockies baseball game (which I missed due to intestinal distress), laundry (BOOOO!), tortilla española for Sunday brunch, and FrogGirl’s birthday party.  Somewhere in there I planned the kids’ summer activities, did some prep for teaching this week and finished re-reading Three Cups of Tea.

My weekends are almost more tiring than my weeks!!

A new organizing scheme has helped me keep everything straight — even those crazy weekends — lately.  To replace the random Post-It notes and paper shopping lists that were always floating around in my purse, I bought one of these Moleskine reporter notebooks:

I had resisted blank books for a long time because I’m left-handed and my hand always hit the bump in the middle of the pages; that problem is solved with this notebook as it lies flat and the bump is at the top where my hand doesn’t hit it.  I divided the notebook into four sections using write-on sticky tabs.  The first section is my “To-Do’s.” On the bottom page, I write my “to-do’s” for the week, such as calls, work tasks, writing tasks, books to read, and errands.  On the top page, I plan my meals for the week and jot down ingredients I need. I cross things off as I complete them, and if they don’t get completed I copy them to the next week’s page. The second section is “Shopping.”  This is where I note what I need from Target, birthday gifts to buy, online shopping stuff to remember, and longer grocery lists.  The third section is “Ideas,” where I quickly make a note of anything that might come to my about my writing projects or school lesson plans.  The final, and least-visited section, is “House.” Here is a lists of all the things that need to be done around the house, like things that need fixing, closets that need to be organized, and possible purchases.  I have been too busy to accomplish much in this area but I hope that by keeping a list, they are more likely to get done when I have more time.

I have another, larger version of the same notebook that I am using for writing projects.  I don’t carry this one around all of the time, but I do use it to make notes for blog ideas, writing exercises and (soon, I hope) novel notes.

So far this system has been working very well for me and I feel like I’m about 1000% more productive than before I started using it.  And I haven’t even read Getting Things Done yet; it’s sitting in my ever-growing stack of “Books to Be Read.”

Where I’m lacking is time management.  I keep a calendar of events and appointments on iCal and sync it with my iPhone so that it’s always handy.  But I really need to figure out a way to schedule chunks of writing time, teaching prep time and yoga time, and stick to it!  It’s always too easy to just research one more Spanish assignment, or check out one more blog, rather than get down to the nitty-gritty writing time.

Speaking of which… better get down to it before the day disappears!

 

It’s My Blogiversary! and ‘Fess Up Friday

Two years ago today, I started this blog! I had recently returned from a workshop in New York with Pattabhi Jois, and I was all fired up and gung ho about yoga. I felt good about my practice and I was an avid reader of yoga blogs, and I thought, “Hey, why not join in the conversation!” I never intended to write only about yoga, so almost immediately I started writing about food, recipes, my kids and all of the other random stuff in my life.

I never suspected that this blog would become anything more than a creative outlet for me, hidden away in an obscure corner of the internet, but instead the blogging community has become a source of support, an inspiration and a sheer joy. I couldn’t quit if I wanted to! Thank YOU, all of my readers, yogis and non-yogis, writers and moms and friends, for making this such a great experience for me!

And now, for what will become a regular feature here, I present you with “Fess Up Friday.” The fabulous Literate Kitten has come up with a way for writers to have some accountability and check in every week to report how their writing week has gone. I fear that my entries will go something like this: “Did not write novel.” “Again, failed to write novel.” And “Novel still unwritten.” But I am going to give it a shot, because one thing that I do know is that public humiliation can be very motivating. So here is this week’s writing report:

• Thought about writing novel.
• Put “Work on novel” on my “To Do” list.
• Realized that the things that don’t get done on my “To Do” list are mainly writing tasks.
• Realized that “Do laundry” gets checked off before “Work on novel.” Felt resentful of laundry. Proposed to children that they are old enough to be allowed the privilege of using the washing machine. Nine-year-old is thrilled. Twelve-year-old is unconvinced.
• Was asked if my Anne Cushman article could be republished in “LIving Mysore” online magazine. An actual writing accomplishment for the week! Yay! (Go check it out, there’s some good stuff over there)
• Worked on writing exercises
• Wrote a blog post every day

All in all, I don’t think it was too bad of a week, though of course the most important thing did not get done.  If you’re not familiar with my novel saga, I am working on the third chapter of a novel (my second) that I began last fall, but let drop when my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer.  This was to have been my “writing year” — but it didn’t work out that way.  Yet.  However, I am committed to working on a writing schedule that will fit in with my kids’ activities, yoga practice, and my job.  It sounds impossible! But I am one of those people that believes that with organization and sleep deprivation, I can accomplish anything!

We’ll see how next week goes!

 

Yoga, Gurus and…Mike Myers?

One of the perks of blogging is that from time to time, people send you free stuff to review on your blog. And one of the non-perks is that people often ask you to promote stuff with no payoff — essentially asking you to talk about things on your site for free. Generally, when people want to send me a book, CD, or product, I accept it but let then know that I won’t necessarily review it unless a) I really like it and/or b) I have time. I have come across some real gems that way, such as Anne Cushman’s new book and I do appreciate the people who take the time to write to me and send me review copies. As for the second kind of question (will you mention X product just because we asked you very nicely?) I generally say no. I mean, why should I use my blog as free advertising space for someone else? I don’t even have AdSense ads on my site for ME to make money. So I just say no.

Until today.

Yesterday I received an email from someone publicizing Mike Myer’s upcoming film, “The Love Guru.”
Well, I have to tell you I am a sucker for funny guys, especially Mike Myers. I mean, I loved him as Wayne:

And as Austin Powers (rrrrrawrrrr!):

And of course as the voice of Shrek:

Come on, I love this guy!!! Plus the email I received held out a very tantalizing incentive, which was: if I post about this movie, the link will be forwarded to Mike Myers himself. Immediately I began to plan what I am going to wear to the premiere of “The Love Guru.” I mean, I am one of the Ten Most Influential Yoga Bloggers, after all. (Okay, I totally made that up. But I bet I am one of the Ten Most Influential Yoga Bloggers Living in Colorado.)  And of course Mike is going to invite all of the bloggers to the premiere, right?

But anyway, click the image below to go to the movie’s official website:

I have to tell you, I really hope the film is as funny as the website, because certain things on this site made me laugh really hard. Like the fact that he says “Mariska Hargitay” instead of “Namaste.” I have a very refined and mature sense of humor, you know.

And now, Mike, if you’re reading this, and you can’t take me to the premiere, can you at least delurk and leave a comment?  And you’re welcome to come over and practice yoga with me any time!!

 

I Am Meme!

This must be meme week! I found this one over at Just Making It Up (run over there and read about her recovery from her “little nap,” aka coma!) and I had to steal it.

i am: mom wife friend writer yogini teacher
i think: constantly — my mind is like a hamster on a wheel
i know: that being kind is the most important thing
i want: three more hours in a day
i have: more than i ever imagined i could have
i wish: i could travel around the world and be a gypsy
i hate: nothing
i miss: my dad
i fear: flesh-eating bacteria
i feel: peaceful
i hear: the sound of pencil scratching as my daughter does her homework
i smell: vanilla cupcakes
i crave: absolute silence and time to write
i search: on google way too much
i wonder: if i’ll ever finish my novel
i regret: nothing
i love: my family and friends
i ache: in my sacrum (not enough yoga)
i care: about all of the people who suffer
i always: have a hard time waking up in the morning
i am not: into arguing with people
i believe: that the universe is full of mystery
i dance: like a dork
i sing: at the top of my lungs in the car alone
i cry: a little bit almost every day
i don’t always: exercise enough
i fight: for my kids
i write: all the time
i win: at scrabble occasionally
i lose: my patience more often than i should
i never: am caught up on the laundry
i confuse: my children, on purpose
i listen: better than i talk
i can usually be found: driving my kids from point a to point b
i am scared: of something bad happening to my family
i need: quiet and clarity
i am happy about: spending my summer with family and friends

I’m not going to tag, but feel free to do this one if you want — it’s fun!

And another meme: Jvalways tagged me on the six random things one:

I have done a version of this one a few times, and I may soon run out of random things! How about these:

1. I can move my little toes independently of all my other toes.  If anyone can think of a way to turn this into a money-making skill, I’m listening.

2. I have a high pain tolerance. I’ve given birth both with and without the epidural, and I prefer without. I come from a long line of very tough farm women.

3. The one thing that really pisses me off is when people speak to me in a condescending manner.  That is just about the only thing that will get me riled up enough to be obnoxious to someone.

4. I have a four-inch wide white stripe of skin on my belly between my ribcage and belly button that never tans.  That is one reason I don’t wear two piece bathing suits.

5. I once briefly traveled by canoe down the Caroní River in Venezuela, and rode in a small airplane that buzzed Angel Falls (which was terrifying).  I got a million bug bites on that trip and learned the Spanish word for “no-see-um’s”: no-lo-ves.

6. I never, ever get enough sleep.

Again, no tags!  Hope I didn’t bore you completely!!

 

It’s All About the Food

Wineymomma tagged me for the

which was started over here.

1. What food do you consider the best “date” food? In other words, what meal or food item do you think is sexiest to eat in the company of someone you would like to look sexy around?

Oh my goodness, trying to look sexy while eating is SO out of the realm of my current reality. I mean, ever since I had kids, just getting through a meal without staining my shirt with pasta sauce or having someone puke on me is an achievement. But if I dig back into the deep dark recesses of my memory, I can recall a lovely sexy “meal” involving chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne.

2. What well-known person would you like to share a meal with?

Jon Stewart. Because he’s so funny and cute. My husband doesn’t have to come, right?

3. What does your perfect breakfast-in-bed look like? (Food AND the details, please. Candles? Music? Flowers? Hot tub? Dancing girls?)

Probably waffles and a latte, made by my kids, topped off with lots of snuggles and hugs.

4. What do you consider the best application of whipped cream to be?

On top of pumpkin pie. And it has to be real homemade whipped cream, with a little sugar and vanilla in it. None of that canned stuff.

5. Oh-God-No, Biff, the yacht is sinking! You are sent to the galley to retrieve the food. What luxury food items do you snatch first? The champagne? The caviar? Smoked Salmon? Truffles? Chocolate? Or something else?

Well, are we going to be marooned on an island for a long time? Because in that case I’d grab the Power Bars and nonperishable canned items. But if a boat is coming right along to rescue us, I’d take the expensive cheese and chocolate, and the Venezuelan rum. Oh, and the BEETS!!!

The Rules…
“Answer each of the five questions. Tag five bloggers you would like to pass the meme to. Have them link back to you and to this post as the source meme. You and they can take the graphic from here if they like.”

I’m terrible with tagging but let’s see, here are a few people who either a) love food b) write about food c) have shared recipes with me or d) I am just curious to see what they have to say:

Wyrdbyrd
(Un)RelaxedDad
Wayne
Charlotte
Jenna